Time to own up to these previously anonymous little gems. Actually, they're fun to read and fun to write. I wish I had sold more to Ephemera, Inc, Don't Panic Designs and Duck and Cover Productions for novelty products. Rate paid: $35 - $50 each. Not too shabby!
It’s Early – Talk Slowly – Use Smaller Words
We’re Not Gossiping – We’re Networking
I was once a Tomboy – Now I’m a Full Grown Lesbian
Pick One: When Hell Freezes Over; When Monkeys Fly Out My Ass
If Only You’d Use Your Powers for Good Instead of Evil
I can’t do a thing with my hair so just concentrate on my tits
My Kitchen Is Bitchin’
I Keep the Best Snacks Under my Apron
Feel free to use me as a model of Perfection
Step aside and let a real psycho show you how it’s done
I survived the 20th century
Too Dumb for College, Too Smart for Welfare
I see a little boy who could use a good spanking
Satisfaction Guaranteed or your Virginity Back
Half the fun of growing up is making the same mistakes your parents did
How’s My Road Rage?
Life is a tacky lounge act – You’re on in Five
If I can’t irritate you, no one can
For THIS I came out of the closet?
Sure hope the boss gets laid soon
My life is in the toilet and all you can do is reach for the handle?
Look out kids – Mommy feels a lecture coming on
Wouldn’t you be more comfortable doing your own job?
I don't always get free samples of the products so I may need to get images from their catalogs. Items shown are not for sale here.